


Battle of the Pantheons

by Nikaya



Category: SMITE (Video Game)
Genre: Humor, Most gods are in here, Zine, dodgeball tournament
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 05:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21173912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikaya/pseuds/Nikaya
Summary: Once a year, all gods of all pantheons come together to determine the strength and prowess of each... in a dodgeball tournament.





	Battle of the Pantheons

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was written for the Celestial Beginnings Zine by @smitezines on tumblr! I was a writing contributor! Available for download for FREE today!

The Coliseum was buzzing with chatter as the crowd started pouring in. The smell of popcorn wafted through, and occasional pops of beer or soda cans were heard. Upon first glance, the arena looked like any other sporting event.

Then, all stadium lights went out. A single spotlight touched the center of the arena. A woman dressed in white fur head-to-toe kept her head covered with a particularly fluffy hood as she spoke. “Hello everyone!” said the sing-song voice. “Are we ready to have a good time tonight?”

The crowd cheered and whooped in response.

The woman laughed, her voice chiming. It quickly turned darker… maniacal. “Welcome to this year’s Battle of the Pantheons! Get ready for the time of your lives!” The woman lifted off of the stadium floor and spun mid-air. Her clothing shifted as purple stained white and long, wild hair spilled around her. “Blood will be spilled! Vengeance will be had! Victory will be undisputed!”

She waited for the jeering from the crowd to cease before speaking again. She spun in the air again, the purple draining back to white and a hood replaced her flowing locks.

“Without further ado! Team Order!” she said, clapping her hands excitedly.

A new spotlight shown at one of the far entrances to the floor, and the gates burst open wide. Titans surged forward - figures at least three times the size of a single audience member - roared as the made their way inside.

“Team Order includes,” she said, leaving a dramatic pause. She waved a hand at each group, “Norse! Roman! Mayan! Hindu! Japanese! Celtic! And finally, Yoruba!”

The audience members donned in blues cheered, whistled, and whooped at their team’s introduction while some in red boo’ed and hissed.

The announcer spun and shifted back to purple. “And in the _ other _ corner… Team Chaos!”

Another spotlight shone on the gate opposite the other as more gigantuan figures emerged.

“Team Chaos boasts….” Another pause. “Chinese! Greek! Polynesian! Egyptian! Arthurian! Slavic! And lastly, Voodoo!”

Those dressed in reds in the audience roared whilst the blue team fans showed their own disapproval.

The spotlight illuminated the announcer once again. She shifted back to her Light stance. “Now for the rules! Each team has 30 balls on their side! However, all powers are allowed to be used in place of the balls! In other words, anything goes! If you are hit by a god of the opposite team, you are out! There is no time limit! And whatever you do,” she sang then shifted to the Dark stance again, “_ do not cross the WHITE LINE!” _

The gods shifted around, sizing up their opponents across the field. Some kicked their teeth. Other conjured balls of energy. Even more rolled back sleeves or took a step forward.

“Lastly, my name is Hel, and I was the _ only _fair option to referee this apocalypse! Is everyone ready to see a good fight?” she shouted into the mic.

The audience roared as the gods crouched and prepared a running stance.

“The match will commence when the buzzer sounds… in three… two… one….” Hel shifted back to her Light stance. The buzzer sounded as she yelled “Go!”

To say that _ chaos _ ensued… would be the understatement of the millenium.

Before any audience member could so much as blink, gods were throwing balls and hurling magic across the dividing line.

Nu Wa was seemingly miles in the sky with a ball in hand, waiting for the right time. Just when Arachne thought she was safe with a web protecting her on all sides, Nu Wa took the opening to swoop in and slam dunk a ball straight into Cernunnos whilst keeping her tail on the Chaos side of the arena.

From the Chaos side, Isis flew high into the air, flinging a Spirit Ball down toward Baron Samedi. Seeing the attack from a mile away, he smirked as the energy ball approached and waited for the last second to do a split and tilt his head and body backward for his nose to narrowly avoid the shot. The ball continued forward and collided with an unsuspecting Thor, who proceeded to yell enraged as he burst into light.

In the back corner of the Order side, Nox faded into darkness. Meanwhile, Ra was floating around the Chaos side - cackling at his own recent hit - when Nox’s Night Terror ball appeared from the abyss and swallowed him whole. He let out a scream that pierced straight through the audience as he burst into light.

Olorun had just shot several Focused Light blasts, hitting a handful of gods on the Chaos side when Hera quickly summoned a portal over his head. Olorun only had time to glance up as Argus crashed down on top of him with a dodgeball.

Xi Tian had been busy fending off dodgeballs and other energy-filled shots coming toward the Chaos side when Hercules decided the opportunity was too good to pass up. He tore a crevice in the ground of the arena and barreled toward the dividing line with a boulder. One look up at Hercules told Xi Tian it was over; his body was promptly leveled into the floor.

Quick as he was, Apollo had dodged with his signature sliding Moves left and right. When he had finally gotten out of harm’s way, he whistled for his chariot to ride Across the Sky. He eyed Xblanque down below and yanked the reins in his direction. Unbeknownst to the Mayan god below, Apollo had several dodgeballs at his feet before raining them down below. He managed to trip Bakasura, nail Awilix in the head - sending her flying off of Suku - and finally pinned Xblanque’s arms to the way with the force of the final throw.

Arachne had thought she was the most ingenious one of all, surrounding herself in a web. Sol - on the other hand - had other ideas. She giggled as she simply summoned a Stellar Burst and hurled it across the arena. Anhur, Ares, and King Arthur all managed to escape the blast, but the fire careened into the webbing, burning the fortress of string to the ground with Arachne inside.

Neith Backflipped whilst Chang’e Danced around the NeNe Kappa launched their way by Kuzenbo. His attempted to hit both seemed fruitless, until Amaterasu Gloriously Charged forward and launched her fully charged Heavenly Reflection at the two of them, ricocheting off of Neith and into Chang’e.

Anubis saw his opportunity when Loki seemed to float around the same area for awhile. He guessed he was at a loss for where to go next as the remaining gods trickled down, so Anubis used his bandages to fly at Loki and Mummify him; the only problem was… it wasn’t Loki. The Decoy vanished as Loki appeared at the dividing line directly in front of Anubis and gently tapped his chest with the dodgeball, a smirk on his face.

Chernobog eyed the cluster of gods on the Order side. Moments later, red Crystallized Curses hovered over their heads. Before Kukulkan could hiss or slither away, they were rooted to the spot as Medusa hurled a ball forward and Persephone called upon the dead to Bone Rush the enemy gods.

Pele was having the time of her life as her Pyroclasts careened into the Order side’s gods one by one. When Sun Wukong tapped her on the shoulder, she turned around to find he was holding a dodgeball to her shoulder… _ across _ the dividing line. Sun transformed in a burst of dark magic back into The Morrigan as she sauntered off.

The arena was plain, save for the spiritual branches he landed on Through the Cosmos. From his height, he could see all of the gods but remained fairly out of sight. He spotted another god flying through the air but he hadn’t been spotted yet. He suppressed a snicker as he watched the god descend upon a victim. Getting closer, he realized it was actually Thanatos, and - knowing he couldn’t fly again for some time - pounced down on him, taking him out.

Mercury was fast, but just how fast? He zipped across the arena, taking out as many gods as he could whilst still dodging. He came to one side of the arena and hurled a ball at Nemesis. At the last second, she summoned Retribution, making the shield go up. As the dodgeball hit her square in the chest, it rebounded and collided back with Mercury’s forehead, sending him straight into the dirt.

Finally, after an arduous battle, two gods remained: Scylla on the Chaos side and Janus on the Order side.

The two sized each other up; Scylla moved to the center of the Chaos side, folding her hands behind her back, and Janus laid down a Threshold in front of him.

In the next instant, Scylla summoned a Sentinel and told two of her hounds to Sic’ ‘Em. Janus retaliated by creating several portals in a row and hurling as many dodgeballs as he could through each one.

Scylla’s hounds were quick to catch the balls in their mouths or bat them away while others tossed them back through the portals at Janus. In turn, Janus was able to create portal after portal to either zip through or allow the balls to pass through in front of him.

In their final efforts, Scylla shouted, “I’m a Monster!” whilst Janus prepared to travel Through Space and Time. As Janus surged toward the portal, each of Scylla’s four hounds grasped a ball in their mouths and dove through the portals.

When the remaining portals dissipated, it was clear to see that one of the hounds had tapped Janus before his arm could reach through to tap Scylla.

“That’s the game!” Hel screamed in her Dark Stance. She shifted back to Light and sang, “The victory goes to Team Chaos!”

Cheers and boos erupted throughout the stadium. Those on the benches above the walls of the pit were either spitting, screaming, or both.

“That’s a wrap on this year’s Battle of the Pantheons!” she said, shifting back to the Dark Stance. “And listen, _ I don’t care _ if you disagree with my calls! That’s why they put me in charge! It’s over! Move on!” She changed back to the Light Stance. “Remember to have a safe journey home and watch your step on the way up the stairs, sweethearts!”

* * *

Thanks for reading! Find my socials [here](linktr.ee/TrainerNick)!


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